If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
