it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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