Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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