he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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