you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
