My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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