i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read