Sponge bath it is.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
