bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
