grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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