Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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