just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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