I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i think my tv is drunk
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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