haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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