franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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