My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
