You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
