After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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