Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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