Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
