ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
