Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
