PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
