so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
