I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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