Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
