Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
