Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
