u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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