tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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