i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
