I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
