apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
