I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
