He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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