Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
