I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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