"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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