Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just google imaged poop.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
