What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
