will power is for people who don't want to get laid
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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