I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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