Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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