great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
