I'm drive I can fine osifer
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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