The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
