can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
