there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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