Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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