Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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