I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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