connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
