you win again, gameday.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
