Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
