Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
