he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
