He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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