can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
