Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize