Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
