i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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