I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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