the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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