I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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