You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So vagazzling was a success
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
