I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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